


In The Eye Of A Hurricane

by LadyNikita



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: M/M, angst at the end, duel, for which i am sorry, if you notice any let me know, probable historical innacuracy, probably mistakes in french too, some quotes from musical
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-06
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-08-19 22:43:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8227264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyNikita/pseuds/LadyNikita
Summary: Alexander wants a group of men to lead, but Washington keeps refusing his requests. Instead of him he promotes someone else. Battle of Monmouth and John and Lee's duel





	1. Chapter 1

Alexander came into the tent like a whirlwind, taking off his coat with frustration. Laurens and Lafayette looked at him surprised, as he interrupted their game of chess.  
'What happened?' asked Laurens with a frown.  
'General still doesn't want to give me a command of a battalion' exclaimed Alexander, crossing his arms on his chest. 'Why doesn't he trust me? I am a good soldier and I could prove that, if he deign to give me an opportunity to do so-'  
'I believe, that he does not want you to get killed, mon ami' said Lafayette. 'You are like a son to him, he values your life too much.'  
'But you are as much sons to him as I am, you, Laf even more, still it's me, who sits behind a desk, while you're risking your lives fighting for our freedom-'  
'My dear Alexander, there is no one in this world who would write better than you' John stood up and put his hand on Alex's arm. 'You are inestimable in what you do.'  
Alexander sighed and sat on a bed.  
'Here, have a drink' Laurens gave him a bottle from which both Lafayette and him had been drinking.  
'Thanks' Alex took the bottle and took a great sip. Then he added 'And you probably have a point. But I cannot sit and do nothing, but waiting for information whether you made it safe from the battle.'  
'Everyone has his role in the war' Lafayette grinned. 'Mais je vais t'aider, mon ami, et nous allons le persuader de te donner la commande.'  
'Merci, mon ami' Alex smiled too and took another sip from the bottle he was holding.  
He took a book, he was reading and lied down onto bed. John and Lafayette got back to playing chess, whispering comments on the other's strategy time to time. Lafayette was always giving his friend black counters, so he could have his all-black regiment at least in a game, as he couldn't manage to convince anyone in outside world to free their slaves.  
'Major General Marquis de Lafayette?' they heard someone outside the tent. Lafayette got up and opened tent's door.  
'It is me, yes?'  
'I was sent to let you know, that General Washington is waiting for you, sir' said messenger boy.  
'Merci, I'm on my way' Lafayette nodded to his friends and went away, heading to Washington's office.  
Alexander sighed and put the book away. He rolled onto his back and looked at the ceiling. He noticed small spider, making his web in the corner. Alex looked at Laurens. He sat at his own bed, with a notebook and a pencil in his hand, and started to passionately draw something. He was focused on the drawing, unconsciously chewing his lips. His brown, curly hair were tied on his neck, but some strands got out and fell on his eyes, but Laurens seemed not to notice that. Alexander felt the warm in his heart while watching his dear Laurens. Something in his appearance was calming him down, giving him peace of mind and the feeling of happiness.  
'What are you doing?' he asked. John looked up at him, blinking, like he has been just woken up.  
'What- ah, um... nothing' he smiled shyly and closed the notebook.  
'Hey, I've seen you were drawing something, let me see' Alex inclined, trying to take the book from his friend, but John raised his hand in the air, beyond Alex's reach, laughing. 'Come on, John!'  
'Okay, I'll show you, but under one condition' he looked at Alex, amusement glittering in his eyes.  
'What condition?' Alexander raised his eyebrows.  
'You'll stand me Sam Adams' Alex snorted, but John wasn't done 'and you will talk only in French today.'  
'What?' Alex bursted into laughter. 'Why?'  
'Because it's gonna be fun' John grinned. 'Starting from now, and for any English word you stand me and Lafayette one more beer after we get back from war.'  
'Okay, mainetant, montre-moi ce que tu as dessiné' Alex waved his head as he rolled his eyes.  
John got up and sat on Alex's bed. He opened notebook at the first page. There was unfinished yet, black and white landscape. It was showing the fields placed on the hills and quite big lake. In the distance, Alex could see snowy mountains.  
'John, c'est maginifique' he smiled at his friend. 'Je n'ai pas su, tu dessine tellement bien.'  
'Thanks. It's a lake in Geneva, in Switzerland. I really liked this place.'  
John indeed, liked that place, but now it was evoking nostagic memories. He used to go there with Francis Kinloch, his very close friend at the time he was in Geneva. They spent their best moments there, together. Melancholy smile appeared on Laurens' mouth.  
'Tu ne l'aime plus?' Alex asked, giving the notebook back to John.  
'It... well, I spent the best time there with my very close friend' Laurens shrugged.  
'Donc, pourquoi tu ne l'aime plus? Ce sont bien memoires, n'est pas?' he seemed confused.  
'Well, Francis and I... we knew each other before the revolution. When it started I came here to fight, but he was on a british side. And that was a thing, which separeted us. There was a big argument and well... we haven't spoken in years.'  
'Je suis desolé, d'entendre ça' Alex laid his hand on his arm and smiled softly. 'Mais maintenant tu as moi et Lafayette, et la rest d'aide-de-camp famille.'  
'Yes, I'm really glad I have you' John was staring in Alexander's eyes for a while.  
'Excusez-moi, am I interrupting something?' they haven't even noticed that frenchman has slipped into the tent until he spoke. 'Or should I leave you to... whatever you were doing?'  
'No, it's okay' Laurens laughed a little embarassed, came back to his bed and took half-empty bottle of beer. 'So, what did Washington want from you?'  
'Well, you're not going to like it, Alexander' Lafayette turned towards Hamilton. 'Washington promoted someone, making him his second-in-command.'  
'Qui?' asked Alex and clenched his mouth.  
'Charles Lee.'  
Laurens, who was drinking the beer, choked.  
'Excuse me, what??'  
'I know' Lafayette shook his head. 'I already spoke to the General, told him, that Alexander would be a better choice, but il ne veut pas m'écouter.'  
'My God, we all are going to regret this' Alexander covered his face with one hand in an expression of frustration. 'Lee as his second-in-command?!' he sighed, anger burning in his eyes.  
'Well, now there is nothing we can do about it, so I'd rather recommend you, Alexander, to calm down. Quoique tu as raison.'  
'But, mon ami, there is one good side of this situation' Laurens suddenly grinned widely. Both, Hamilton and Lafayette frowned, so Laurens rushed to explain 'My dearest Alexander, you spoke in English, so you're standing us a beer.'

***

A week later, they were getting prepared for another battle. They approached Monmouth yesterday, tomorrow was the time to attack British forces and now they were making last preparations. Washington together with Lafayette and Lee were compiling strategy, Hamilton was writing to Continental Congress about progress in preparations and Laurens was helping with cleaning guns and exercises before the encounter.  
About five p.m. Laurens was coming back from the exercising field, when he saw Charles Lee, shouting at some messenger boy and shaking him. Boy couldn't be more than sixteen years old and was holding a sealed envelope.  
'No, you have to do what I told you to do, I am second-in-command Major General, boy!'  
'But, sir... General Lafayette gave me a message to deliver-'  
'I don't care, I am on higher position than Lafayette, you have to do what I am telling you to do-'  
'Drop it, Lee!' John made his way to the two men. 'He already has his orders, get off your ass and find someone free!'  
'And who are you, to command me, Laurens?' he asked vainly, putting emphasis on a word "me".  
'Just a good man, who knows how to behave in a camp, unlike you.'  
'You know I can do whatever I want to you?' he grinded out. 'I can bust you, I'm on a higher position-'  
'Oh really, you haven't just repeated it like, what, three times in one minute? We acknowledged that' Laurens retorted with crooked smile. 'And you can go right ahead in busting me, I want to see you try, you assho-'  
'What is happening here, gentlemen?' General Washington himself came, summoned by the fuss.  
'Nothing, sir, it's just a little misunderstanding, but we've just finished' Lee let the boy go and, saluting, went away. Laurens shook his head and seized Washington's questioning gaze.  
'He was abusing the young messenger, sir, I was only defending him-'  
'It's fine, just... try not to make a fur fly again, would you?'  
'Yes, sir' Laurens saluted.  
Washington turned around, willing to go away, when John took a breath and called out 'Sir?'  
'Yes, son?'  
'Forgive me tutoyering question, sir, but are you really sure about Lee as your second-in-command?'  
'Yes' Washington stared in Laurens' eyes 'till he casted his eyes down. 'Is that all?'  
'Yes, sir.'  
'Wonderful. See you in the morrow. And, Laurens? Tell Hamilton and Lafayette to come to me when the sun rises, we have one more little thing to set up just before the battle.'  
'Yes, sir, I'm on my way.' John nodded and made his way to his tent at a quick pace. Inside he saw Alexander and Lafayette, chatting.  
'Hey, General asks you both to come to him in the morrow, when the sun raises' said Laurens and fell on his bed with a sigh of relief.  
'Oui, oui, je sais' frenchman nodded and sighed. 'This Lee-con is impossible, he is braging that he's General's second-in-command all the time' he groaned.  
'I know, I came upon him on my way to the tent' John murmured with his eyes closed. He'd been practicing all day with his men and now the fatigue embraced him. 'He was abusing some poor messenger boy, who was carrying your letter, Laf. Lee said that he's on a higher position and shit and we argued... My God, how I'd like to face him in a duel.'  
Alexander smiled slightly and got back to writing something on a piece of parchment. Lafayette went to sleep soon after that, saying that he wants to rest before the battle and suggesting them doing the same.  
'What are you still doing, Alexander?' Laurens shifted aside and looked at Hamilton with his eyes half-closed. Alex's face was rapted in twilight, the one candle stand-up on a table framed his face. His hair was still tied, as he was writing a letter. When John spoke, he looked up at him. 'Go to sleep, my Alexander, you have to be fresh tomorrow.'  
'I have to finish this letter. It's for Eliza' he said, like it explained everything. John, hearing this words, clenched his mouth. 'But, my dear Laurens, you go to sleep, you look so tired. It's you, who has to be fresh tomorrow.'  
'Not true, we all have to be fresh tomorrow' John's voice was tough. Alex could feel jealousy in it. John never liked when he spoke of Eliza.  
'I'll go to sleep as soon as I finish this one, my dearest Laurens. Don't worry.'  
'Vous deux, stop flirting and go to sleep already' they could hear muffled growl from Lafayette's side. Laurens grinned and switched in bed. He fell asleep in exact same moment, when Alex blew out the candle.

***

‘’June 29th, 1778  
On Sunday, 28th troops under General Lee’s command had attacked British forces. However, since General Lee's commands had been inaccurate, the attack was fragmented and soon became rather a panic retreat. Our loses were enormous, everything because of Lee's incompetence. Running troops had encountered General Washington, who himself had taken command over them and formed line of defence.’’

‘Blah, blah, blah...’ Laurens ran his eyes over the rest of the letter.

‘’The next day, General Washington had wanted to counterattack, but it turned out, that British troops retreated by the cover of darkness.’’

‘Yeah, I think it's fine, you can send it.’  
'Thank you, my Laurens' Alexander smiled and took the parchment from John's hands. They were in the forest near the battlefield, Alex had been persisting to write the letter for Continental Congress right now, but he had needed peace and silence. John nodded with a grin.  
'Always at your service, Alexander.'  
Hamilton laid his hand on John's arm and looked him in the eye.  
'I wish, my dear Laurens, it might be in my power, by action rather than words, to convince you, that I love you' he whispered.  
'You don't have to' Laurens also put his hand on a man's arm. They were close; too close for the obtaining standards. But no one was around, no one could see them. 'I already know that and it is, by all means, reciprocal, my dear Alexander.'  
They returned back to the camp and saw Lafayette approaching them with outrage on his face.  
'Entendez-vous quelle connerie ce putain dit?!' he yelled. 'C'est scandaleux!'  
Laurens and Hamilton followed the frenchman, who led them to Charles Lee, talking about Washington.  
'He cannot be left alone in charge! He is empoisoning our revolution! He is a pride of Mount Vernon, you say, but the best he can do for America is going back to planting tobacco!'  
'What the hell are you talking about, Lee?!' Laurens yelled at him, beat the drum for himself. 'Stop or you will regret!'  
Lee laughed with taunt.  
'And what could you possibly do to me, you dumbass? Washington is a coward and so are you!'  
'Okay, that's it' Laurens' voice was shaking from rage when he pulled out his gun and point it at Lee.  
'Hé, hé, John, arrête!' Lafayette caught his arm and lower it as Alexander stepped forward.  
'Maybe we should try a duel, huh? Then we'll see, who's really a coward!'  
'Enough, Hamilton!' Washington appeared as if out of nowhere and held Alex's arm. 'Let him be.'  
'But sir-!'  
'In case you don't remember, we're fighting a war here and we don't have time for duels. Period.'  
And not saying anything else, he drifted away. Alexander clenched his teeth.  
'He cannot get off with this' Laurens made his way towards Alex, the outrage buzzing in his voice.  
'I know. But Washington gave me direct order-'  
'He didn't give it to me' John looked Alex in the eyes. 'I'll do it.'  
Alexander swallowed and held his arm.  
'Laurens, do not throw away your shot.'

***

John Laurens was standing in front of Charles Lee, holding the gun. Hamilton, as his second, was reciting him his ten duel commandments. John was barely listening to his friend. He was keeping calm, though inside he was still buzzing with anger. This is not the way you talk about a man, who just saved your ass, he thought. Though Lee seemed not to realise that if it wasn’t for Washington, he would be probably dead now.  
‘And now we’re counting to ten’ Alex’s voice reached through his thoughts. It is time.  
John noticed with a surprise something odd in his friend’s voice. After a while he realised it was a concern. Laurens snorted under his nose. His dear Alexander was worrying about him. That was adorable, but unnecessary. There is no possibility that he could lose in a duel against Lee.  
‘One, two, three…’  
Laurens and Lee were standing back to back. Now, they started to branch off from each other.  
‘Four, five, six…’  
They turned around, walked forward and went by each other.  
‘Seven, eight, nine…’  
They stopped, so did time. The tense was almost substantial. They slowly turned around again, stretching out their guns as Alex with Lee’s second shouted:  
‘Number ten, paces, fire!’  
They fired. Lee missed. Laurens striked.  
Lee doubled up, as the bullet hit him in his side. His second made his way to him, to help him stand and they approached to the doctor.  
Alexander came to Laurens and embraced him, smiling widely. He returned the hug and turned at Lee.  
‘No second shot, I’m satisfied!’ John yelled to him, as he looked at him with hatred. ‘Don’t say I never did anything for you!’  
‘Go, John, we won!’ Alex said, patting him on his arm. His eyes were glittering from pride, what made John smile even wider.  
‘What is the meaning of this?!’ they heard Washington’s voice, Alexander’s heart stopped for a second, his smile faded.  
‘Hamilton!’ Alex turned around to see General’s furious eyes. Something clenched him in his stomach. ‘Come here.’ He barely heard John whispering ‘Good luck’ into his ear.  
Alexander walked with Washington to a place where they were alone.  
‘What did I say to you, son?’ he asked, not expecting the answer. ‘I said no duels.’  
‘But Lee had to answer for his words, we couldn’t just let him get off with it…’ he was trying to defend himself. He was afraid that General might punish John, but it seemed, Washington had focused on him only.  
‘Alex, this will not be to the good for us-‘  
‘Sir, he offended you, he showed you utter lack of respect and we couldn’t just turn a deaf ear to this! He took your name and trashed it!’  
‘My name has been through a lot, son, I can take it!’  
‘Don’t call me son.’  
‘Look, I’ve heard a lot worse things about myself, but you have to learn, when youre a leader such things happen and there is nothing you could-‘  
‘Well, I don’t have the opportunity, because you keep refusing my requests for a command of a battalion!’  
‘Son, I’m just trying to keep you alive-‘  
‘I’m not your son and why exactly are you trying to keep me alive? You know I am more than willing to die-‘  
‘There are people who need you alive! Your wife, friends, son, I need you alive-‘  
‘Stop’ he yelled ‘calling me your son as I am not.’  
Washington lost his tongue for a second. Alex realised that he had crossed a line, but it was already too late to withdraw what he said.  
‘Go home, Alexander’ his voice was quiet, a little bit disappointed. Alexander was expecting shouts. Anger. Frustration. Not disappointment. Frankly, he would have preferred Washington to yell at him.  
‘Sir-?’  
‘Go home. That’s a direct order from your commander.’  
After these words he turned on his heel and walked away, leaving Alexander in shock, unable to move for the next couple of minutes.

***

He was almost utterly packed, when Laurens entered the tent.  
‘I heard you’re leaving’ his voice was devoid of any feelings.  
‘Yes, Washington ordered me to go back home’ Alexander put the last book into his bag.  
John came closer to him and grabbed his hand. Alexander looked up at him. John had such beautiful eyes.  
‘We’re going to miss you, my Alexander.’  
‘I’m surely going to miss you, too’ Alex drew him to himself and hugged tightly. He almost felt John smile. Suddenly he felt a peck on his neck. He moved his gaze at John who was smiling hesitantly, checking Alex’s reaction. But Hamilton knew what he wanted. And now he saw the same thing in Laurens’ eyes. He grinned and pulled his lips against John’s.  
Time disappeared, they didn’t know anymore where they are. All that mattered was them.  
Lafayette came through the tent’s door, assuming, that he gave John enough time for his personal goodbye. He stopped rapidly, silent as the grave. They didn’t notice, he’d come. The frenchman smiled to himself, while he was pulling out as quietly as he could from the tent. He’d seen there is something going on between his friends for quite some time and all in all, he didn’t mind them being together. Ils regardent vraiment mignon, he thought when he heard quiet voices from the inside. He considered it as a proper time to come in.  
Now they did notice him.  
‘I heard you’re leaving, so I brought these’ he pulled out of his bag three bottles of Sam Adams.  
They were chatting and laughing, celebrating their time together. When they finished their beer, John pulled out three more bottles from under his bed. Alex couldn’t stop laughing at this for several minutes.  
‘Raise a glass to freedom, my friends!’ Laurens raised his bottle in the air.  
‘You said glass, not bottle, John’ spotted Alex, laughing.  
‘What’s la difference, Alex, quand we’ll always end up on bottles?’ sang Lafayette.  
‘Are you seriously drunk so quickly?’ John asked with surprise, bursting into laugh.  
‘Qui told you, je n’ai pas drinking before?’ Lafayette raised his eyebrows and grinned.  
‘My God, what in the world had happened to our Marquis de Lafayette?’ Alex cried out theatrically wringing his hands.  
‘Rien happened, mon ami, c’est juste good old moi.’ Lafayette patted and held his arm. ‘And you know, that I’m proffesing the philosophy of life named Why Not.’  
‘Indeed you are, mon ami.’


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander misses Laurens and vice versa, Lafayette got himself in a duel... and Gwash is panicking a bit. Laurens is on a diplomatic mission in France with Benjamin Franklin to get loans for America.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ending might sound like a description a little and it's not edited... But I hope you will like the whole thing anyway :D

John Laurens wrote to Hamilton almost every week, sometimes twice. Alex was answering quickly. Their letters were full of love and promises. If they ever fell into wrong hands, both John and Alex would be hanged for sodomy. But they were hiding them so no one knew what the relationship between them really was.  
They were missing each other. John couldn't wait to see his Alex again, but both of them had their own work to do. Laurens was fighting with redcoats, training his soldiers and when he had free time, he was writing essays against slavery. Days were passing fast, almost imperceptibly in a routine. Soon they became weeks, weeks months. Two years had passed from battle of Monmouth.  
John looked at the night sky, full of stars, but no moon. The soft zephyr enfolded his face through opened window, pleasantly cooling it a bit. The spring was coming fast this year. He looked down and put up a pen. He dipped it in the ink and started writing.

"April 29th, 1780  
My Dear Alexander how I wish you were here. Though I dislike this place, since my father and slaves are here, the views of South Carolina were never as beautiful as right now. Do you remember Washington's aide-de-camp, just before battle of Monmouth, when I showed you a drawing of Geneva Lake? I lost it somewhere on the battlefield lately, because, as you know, I always carry a notebook with me. But I have drawn the fields which can be seen from my room, where I'm sitting while writing to you now - I am positive, you will like it. I am sending the drawing with this letter, hoping it'll reach you well-preserved.  
You asked me how I'm coping with my father. Well, if I were to be utterly honest with you, my Dear Alexander, I would have to say that he's being an asshole (as always), yet he's still my father and I have to show him some respect. After all, it was his investment, what provided me a place in aide-de-camp. But enough about my father.  
I earned myself the admiration of Charleston during the last battle. General Moultrie was furious, he said that my actions were reckless and unnecessary, but I do not agree. We are mostly fine, my arm is almost completely healed now, so I’m taking that as an utter win.  
Although, I have also loss on my name. The Privy Council will never agree on freeing the slaves. I tried to convince them to arm the slaves, but they all said was ‘We will adopt this plan only in the last extremity’. As if! They must be blind since they don’t see, that their ‘last extremity’ is already upon us! As you surely know, South Carolina’s legislature was willing to surrender Charleston on condition its neutrality, but redcoats refused it. They want to attack and they have the advantage. We need this regiment. But you know what, my Dearest Alexander, day by day I’m feeling more like giving up on this. It’s another year of their refusal, I’m tired of it. So in the morrow we are going to get prepared for defending Charleston on our own.  
Anyways, how are you, my Alex? I hope you have some free time to spent- uh, what am I saying, you do not need free time. You would write day and night even if you weren’t asked to. Oh, my Alexander, my heart is longing to see you again. I hope we will meet soon. Maybe I could come to you with visit, after this whole Charleston fuss. I believe I can find a couple of days to spend with you, my Dearest friend.

Yours,  
John Laurens”

John ran his eyes through the letter once again and folded the envelope. He leaned back and sighed. He should prepare for the battle. Thoughts of Alex, however pleasant, were distracting him. And he should be focused, the war wasn’t over yet. He gave a last glance on the drawing of Alex, lying on his desk, right next to the two pictures of turtles. He loved to draw turtles, but they could never replace Alex. Although, no matter how often he tried to draw Hamilton at home, he could never done it right. There was always something wrong with the drawing, but John couldn’t figure out what. He had only one well-drawn picture of Alexander, which he had made two years ago. Alex was lying on his bed, in their tent back in the aide-de-camp. He’d been reading a book all evening, so John had made it to draw him without his knowing consent.  
Laurens smiled slightly and went to bed, with head full of Alex. 

***

Lafayette entered the bar with a smile on his face. This day was really promising. Sun was shining brightly, the sky clear, as if it was grinning to the people around. The Frenchman took a place near the bar and ordered one pint of beer. He thought about his friends, as drinking slowly and grinned. He should write a letter to Laurens, as he hasn’t heard from him for a while. Laurens never get used to write letters regularly, he wrote them whenever he felt like doing so (though that wasn’t happening very often) and was rather spare in words. If you got a letter from John Laurens you were either his military commander, his father, or his very close friend.  
The case was completely different with Alexander. This man has written so many official letters in his life, so many documents and still got time to regularly write to his friends. It was unbelievable how much he wrote. As if his whole life was depending on writing.  
Suddenly, the voice of someone in a bar got through Lafayette’s thoughts.  
‘Listen, we can’t trust France. She’s too ambitious, treacherous. Why, do you think, they want to help us? No doubt the French want to use us to their plans-‘  
‘Excusez-moi’ Lafayette raised his voice as he stood up and made his way to the table by which the man, who had been talking, was sitting. He’s name was Carlisle, if Gilbert has remembered it correctly. ‘Why are you insulting my nation, when it is us, who helps you in the revolution?’  
Carlisle looked at him with his eyebrows raised.  
‘You must be… Lafayette, aren’t you?’ he asked, tilting his head slightly on the right.  
‘Yes, it is me. I am repeating my question, on what grounds you dare to insult France?’ Lafayette crossed his arms and frowned.  
‘Well, I have nothing against you, general, I heard mostly good things about yourself’ Carlisle quietened for a second. ‘But I can’t trust France, we can’t afford to trust France, she is using us and it is as plain as the nose on your face-‘  
Lafayette made a wry face.  
‘I highly recommend you to stop putting this irrational accusations on my country, because an insult to France is an insult to myself.’  
Carlisle snorted and shook his head with pity.  
‘Man, you should chill and not take everything so personally. You’re not responsible for what France is doing, and I believe they’re gonna use us.’  
The Frenchman clenched his mouth. Sûr, je te montrai, ce que ‘taking everything personally’ signifier, he thought. Tu ne vas plus insulter la France.  
He just turned around on his heel and got out of the bar. The idea was circling around his mind for all the way to his house. When he got there, he grabbed a pen and started writing a letter to lord Carlisle. He has decided what to do.  
When he finished this letter, he wrote another one, to Charles d’Estaing. He wanted to tell his cousin that he’s going to have his first duel. The thought that the cousin wouldn’t be so proud as Lafayette was at that moment came to his mind, when he already has sent the letter to France.

***

General George Washington was sitting on the gathering of Continental Congress, dreaming of getting out of this room. He’d been sitting there for two hours already and the meeting was going on and on. He was trying to listen, he really was – but he didn’t slept for days and had cordially enough of everything. He must have stayed strong, though. So many people was looking up at him.  
‘Sir’ a young messenger boy sneaked up behind him and whispered, pulling him out of his thoughts ‘A letter for you has arrived.’  
Washington frowned.  
‘I am busy right now-’  
‘It’s from France and it says it is a matter of great importance.’ The boy was trembling, perhaps because he had to interrupt the General himself in the Congress meeting. But frankly, Washington was absolutely fine with that. At least he can finally get out of here.  
‘I am really sorry, gentlemen’ he spoke up louder, so all of them could hear him. ‘There is a matter of great importance that require my presence. I am sure you can manage without me.’  
He nodded to them as they said goodbye to him, some of them saluting. Washington came out and took a sealed envelope from boy’s hands. ‘Thank you.’  
The boy nodded.  
‘At your service, sir.’  
General noticed the letter was from compte Charles d’Estaing. He remembered how Gilbert told him about his older cousin. But why would he wrote to Washington? What could have happened? He opened the letter with a frown and started reading.  
Concern was flooding his face as he was moving his gaze through the text. When he finished, he was actually terrified. He bundled the paper carelessly into his pocket and almost ran to Lafayette’s house. He knocked to the door, but there was no response. The panic was spreading in his heart like a wildfire. What if he already sent the challenge letter to Carlisle? What if they would be standing somewhere right now, getting ready for the duel…  
Washington shook his head as he saw the Frenchman coming back from the shop. He reprimanded himself for the panic attack. Lafayette wasn’t stupid. He wouldn’t go to the duel without consultation with him. Right?  
‘Gilbert!’ Washington met him halfway. Lafayette grinned widely and kissed the General in both cheeks, as the French had in customary. The people around stared at them, but Lafayette didn’t seem to care, neither did Washington.  
‘Mon cher General, how are you, sir?’ his optimistic energy was usually contagious, but now George was too terrified to be affected.  
‘Son, what on Earth have you done?’ he asked, putting his hand on Lafayette’s arm, the concern visible on his face. ‘Did you send this letter to lord Carlisle? Please tell me you didn’t.’  
‘Of course I did!’ Lafayette exclaimed, wide smile still on his face. ‘This man dared to insult France I couldn’t just let it pass.’  
Panic glittering in Washington’s eyes.  
‘But, son, what if he accept it? You can get hurt, you can-‘  
‘You don’t have to worry about me so much, father, I am sure I will be perfectly fine’ Lafayette put his hand on Washington’s shoulder.  
‘No. Son, please, write to him a resignation letter’ great concern was perceptible in his voice.  
‘I couldn’t do that, I would lost all of my pride’ he bridled.  
‘It’s better to lost your pride than life, son’ Washington pleaded. ‘Please, resign, if not for yourself, then for me.’  
Lafayette sighed and shook his head.  
‘I’m sorry, mon general, I cannot let it slide. Your only hope lies in his resignation.’  
Then he patted Washington’s arm and made his way to his house. General came back to his own house and wrote a letter to lord Carlisle with a request for his resignation. He argued that Lafayette didn’t want to offend him with a challenge, that he is just a bit too reckless and he didn’t think it through. He pleaded for an understanding and not taking seriously his challenge.  
It turned out, though, that his efforts went for nothing, as the next day Lafayette came into George’s office with a letter in his hand. Washington froze, but the Frenchmen burst into laugh as he noticed that. He sat at general’s desk, moving a pile of papers aside and said ‘You can be happy, father, Carlisle didn’t accept the challenge.’  
General sighed with relief.  
‘That’s good. You’re lucky, my son’ he said. Lafayette donned a serious tone, though his eyes were glittering with amusement.  
‘Although, I have to say, I could sense joy in his answer. I think he enjoyed this situation more than he should, as it is a matter of great importance.’  
A small smile creeped onto Washington’s mouth. This was so like Lafayette. You think he was taking some matter seriously, but he never ceased to be amused.  
‘You should write to your cousin, he’s surely worrying about you’ General told him.  
‘Don’t tell me, he wrote to you about this’ Lafayette opened his eyes wider.  
‘Yes, he did. He was a bit panicking, so I recommend you to write to him as soon as you can’ Washington winked towards the Frenchmen, who giggled.  
‘Okay, I’ll let him know, I’m not going to kill myself in the next few days.’  
‘Let’s hope for more than few days’ Washington’s smile was wide now. ‘We still need that French aid.’  
Lafayette burst into laugh.  
‘So this is, what everything is about! I knew it!’ he shook his head, still laughing, moving his hand on the desk, so the pile of papers fell over. ‘Oops…’  
Washington clenched his lips, trying to be serious, but in reality he was barely stemming laugh.  
‘Lafayette, could you please get off of my desk?’ he asked as he was getting the papers together. Lafayette stood up, apologising, a wide smile on his face.  
‘I’m going to write to my cher cousin now, let him know I am still alive’ he said, when Washington filed the documents.  
‘Yeah, you should’ he agreed. ‘And don’t break anything on the way, would you?’  
‘Merci for the faith, General’ Lafayette quipped saluting and with a giggle he left the room.

***

Alexander Hamilton was writing a letter. Is that a surprise to anyone? No, not at all. But this one was different. He wrote so fast, as if someone was chasing him. As if his life was depending on how fast he can run his pen on the paper. The adrenaline running through his veins, heartbeat fast as he wrote paragraph after paragraph. He had to make this right. This letter must have been perfectly written, because it was not his life, which was depending on it – it was John’s. His Laurens was imprisoned by redcoats, as Charleston had fallen in May. He was captured and now, he could die in any minute. Alexander knew, John is too important to just be killed, that Britains wouldn’t just waste his life – but he also knew John Laurens and the recklessness of his actions. He knew that John was able to do things, that could make redcoats shoot him. So he was writing like he was running out of time, to tell Washington to exchange him.  
He waited. He waited long, for him definitely too long. But eventually, Laurens was exchanged and finally freed. Alexander was happy, waiting for his dear Laurens to arrive to him to New York, but when he got John’s letter, he lost all excitement. He wrote, that he is okay, but they sent him along with Thomas Paine to France, to help Benjamin Franklin get loans for America. Laurens promised he would come to New York as fast as he get back to the America, but still, Alexander had to wait more. And he didn’t like waiting. 

John frowned when Benjamin Franklin told him, that he reminds him of John Adams.  
‘Why?’ he asked carefully.  
Benjamin grinned.  
‘Starting with a name, ending on diplomacy strategy. You’re both impatient and unorthodox. But we actually could use that…’  
‘How is that?’ John looked him in the eye. They were trying to get the loans, but six weeks went by without any result, so they were in dire need of a new plan.  
‘Well… if they don’t want to come to us, we have to come to them ourselves’ he said innocently, putting the idea in John’s mind. Laurens grinned.  
‘I know. I will come to the King himself, he will have to listen to me.’  
‘It might be dangerous’ Benjamin gave him the warning, but he didn’t mean it. They already decided they will do that anyway.  
‘I know’ he repeated. ‘But we have to do something, otherwise we’ll never reach an agreement.’  
So they went to the King Louis XVI himself. They had no idea how they managed to pass through all the guards, though they did upset a few people. Frankly, they didn’t really care. They weren’t sneaking or something, no. They were even pointing out their presence. But somehow they got in front of the King and spoke to him.  
And finally they reached an agreement, providing America loans and military supplies from France. Laurens went back to America, leading two ships full of supplies. He got there just in time for the battle of Yorktown.


	3. After the war...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why, we all love angst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no freaking idea why I didn't post it, because it was written a long time ago, I just found it. So yeah. Idk what this fic even is, but I want it to be finished and we all love some angst, so here ya go

Knocking to the door was loud and nervous, pulling Alexander out of slight sleep by his desk. How did it happen, that he fell asleep while writing? He blinked and got up, to answer the door.  
'John?' he asked, when he opened it. There he was, standing in front of him, his curly brown hair carelessly tied up on his neck, his eyes tired. 'What are you-?'  
'Can I come in?' John interrupted him hurriedly without any greeting. He looked exhausted.  
'Yes, sure.' Alexander opened the door widely and let Laurens enter. John walked in and leaned against the desk. Alexander closed the door, looking at his friend with a concern. 'What happened?' he asked and came closer.  
'I-' John faltered. He looked at the ceiling, as if searching for words to express his thoughts. He was trying not to look at confused and worried Alexander, who just noticed that John's eyes were slightly red. 'I shouldn't have come here.'  
He wanted to go away, but Alex tugged him and sat him down at the chair.  
'No. You can't just walk into my room, looking as if you've been through hell and back, and tell me that you shouldn't have come here' he pulled up a chair and sat in front of John, who dropped his gaze. 'What's going on, John?'  
He sighed, blinking nervously.  
'It's probably nothing, Alex, I really shouldn't bother you, especially when you're working-'  
'I was about to take a break anyway' Alex waved his hand. That wasn't entirely true, but John really looked like he needed somebody to listen to him. 'Tell me.'  
Laurens swallowed.  
'But Alex, you're not gonna like it and it has nothing to do with you actually and-'  
'John, for God's sake, there had been a reason, you have come here at the first place, so just tell me!'  
He took a deep breath.  
'I am stupid, Alex. My father came to me with Congress' answer for my requests of a regiment. Another refusal, they will never agree to this. But the worst is… he said there is also one letter from London-' he stopped short. 'It was Martha, she wrote that she would like to visit me here, in America. And she said she would come with her daughter...'  
'John' Alex touched his cheek and looked him in his eyes. ‘We will figure it out, as we always do, right?' he smiled and flicked a strand of John's hair from his face. 'I will write to Congress again, we will make them say yes, even if I would have to write a million of essays. I'm good at this' he grinned. 'And about Martha... maybe it's time to get to know her?' he suggested carefully 'Meet your daughter?'  
'But Alex, you don't understand' John groaned. 'I left her there alone, I married her out of pity not love, how could I have her over, even look in her eyes...'  
'Then don't invite her' Alexander said that with difficulty. Maybe he was a bit jealous of Martha being John's wife - but he knew John never truly loved her. He wanted his friend to get to know his child, though. As Philip has changed his life and the way he looked at some things, he wanted John to know that feeling. But Laurens was scared, hell, he was panicking only on the thought of his wife here. 'Find an excuse.'  
John looked him in the eyes.  
'What could I possibly come up with, so they believe me?' he clenched his teeth. 'I've been thinking up many excuses for all these years, how can I convince them-'  
'Them?' Alex frowned.  
'My father wants to meet her' he made a wry face. 'I have to convince him too.'  
Alexander rubbed his chin thoughtfully.  
'There are still battles with British troops' he said and shrugged. 'You could join one of them. They will surely appreciate your help.'  
'Okay, that's- that's a good idea' John smiled slightly. 'Thank you, Alexander.'  
'Always at your service, my Laurens' Alexander grinned and patted his shoulder.  
John stayed at Alex's home a little longer. They chatted on nicer things and John's mood got better. Alexander offered him overnight stay, but he refused with regret, saying that he's gonna write a letter to general Nathanael Greene with an offer of his assistance yet this evening.  
General agreed to John's request with happiness.  
'Colonel John Laurens, it's nice to see you' he spoke as they met in his camp.  
'General Greene, it's good to see you, too, sir' John nodded with a smile. 'I'm glad to serve under your command.'  
'And I'm glad to have you here' Greene smiled. 'I will appoint a group of men for you to lead.'  
This reminded John about his another fail in requesting all-black regiment. He sighed in his soul. He was so close. When he get back from this battle, he's going to try again. And again. They will write day and night with Hamilton to make them agree to free these slaves and give them a chance to win their freedom-  
'Are you listening to me, Laurens?' Greene stopped, pulling John out of the thought.  
'Umm, yes, sir, of course.'  
'Good, because we're heading out in the morrow. I suggest you to get ready.' General nodded to him, as he saluted and walked away. John made his way to his tent and started writing to Alexander. He wrote, that he's going to try one more time to write to Congress and convince them to arm the slaves. Then, as he said, he did. He even managed to get Greene's support. General told him, that he was supporting his efforts for some time now and he's very sorry it hadn't shown any results yet.  
Nevertheless, three days later Congress' answer came to the camp, more of the same refusal. John lost all hope for this plan to work, but Greene assured him, that if he ever wanted to try again, he'd had his further support.  
Months were passing. Martha had given up her plan to travel to America, but John really liked working with Greene, who happened to be quite great man, so he chose to stay on the battlefield over go back to politics.  
This day wasn't different at all than many others. Late august sun was shining, the weather was really optimistic. John had a fighting spirit today. He felt like he could beat anyone. With a smile he rode at the front of his troops, ordered to maintain a defensive position to stop British foraging parties along the Combahee River. But he couldn't sat still. He saw British troops approaching them. He had his orders, to keep a defensive position, but he just couldn't resist. 'It's my day' he thought. 'We will defeat them today and August 27th will be the day of our closing victory.' So he attacked. He hasn't seen the recklessness of his actions. He hasn't seen the consequences. With his customary courage he attacked and during the second British volley, he felt sudden and burning pain above his hip. The strength of the shot threw him off of his horse. He fell on the ground with deaf groan, tightening his eyes in pain. The world around was spinning, as the bullet was causing tugging ache. He heard somebody call his name. He lost feeling in his legs. He heard somebody yelled a command to retreat. He felt a hands, lifting him up. They brought him back to the camp. He was lying on the bed, by turns waking up and fainting again. He noticed that somebody dressed his wound. He couldn't move. Couldn't speak. His forehead wet with sweat. Soon he fell asleep, tired of constant pain.

***

Alexander was worried. He hasn't gotten any letter from his Laurens for quite some time now. Not like that was unnatural or something. John never wrote his letters regularly. But still, even though he knew there is no reason to worry, there was this pressure in his stomach. He decided to wrote to Laurens, ask him how he’s feeling in general Greene's army and make sure he's okay.  
He was writing the letter, when he heard knocking on the door. He murmured 'Come in', not stopping writing. With a corner of his eye he saw Eliza with a piece of paper in her hand.  
'Alexander, there's a letter for you from South Carolina.'  
Something in her voice woke up this pressure in his stomach, but he ignored it. He raised his head and smiled.  
'Good, it's from John Laurens, I'll read it in a moment' he put away his pen, but Eliza shook her head, her eyes serious.  
'No, it's not. It's from his father.'  
Alexander froze.  
'His father-?' his voice faded, he couldn't speak for a while. Why his father would write to him? John was still fighting with Britains and the explanation, that came to his mind was... no, he couldn't think of that. It was impossible. It couldn't had happened. Not to John. 'Will you read it for me?' he wasn't able to read it on his own, his hands shaking as panic was growing in his heart with every word Eliza read.  
'Dear Mr. Hamilton. On Tuesday the 27th, my son was seriously wounded in a gunfight against British troops, that have not yet received a word from Yorktown, that the war was over. I'm writing to you, sir, because this was John's only request before he passed out. He did not wake up since, but the doctor's saying, that his condition is stable for now. If you decide to come here and visit him, you must know, you're more than welcome in our house, sir. With the compliments, Henry Laurens.'  
Alexander needed a moment to digest what he just heard. With a bit of relief he was holding up to one thought 'He is alive. He is alive.'  
'Alexander, are you alright?' Eliza looked concerned.  
'I'm heading there now' he said quickly and got up, leaving the pen on the desk and ink opened.  
'Hey, Alexander' she stopped him gently and looked in his eyes. 'Don't you think you have to let Laurens know, that you're coming, pack yourself, prepare-'  
'No, I have to see him now' Alex wanted to open the door, but Eliza caught his arm.  
'I want to know if he's okay too, but you can't just walk into their house without any-'  
'He invited me, Eliza, and I’ve got to see him. I cannot wait.' He walked out of the room, for the first time in his life giving up on writing.  
He rode as fast as he could. He got to South Carolina and almost running, made his way to John's house.  
'Good morning, I'm Alexander Hamilton' he introduced himself to a girl, who opened the door. She was probably a slave but Alex didn't care at the moment. He was going to see John, he had to know how he's holding up.  
'Of course, sir, we were expecting you' the girl opened the door wider, letting him in. 'Sir Henry is in a living room, straight through the corridor and on the right.'  
Alex mumbled thanks and went along the corridor quickly. He saw Henry Laurens standing by the window. John's father noticed him at the moment he entered the room. He turned to him and smiled without any happiness.  
'Mister Hamilton, I presume.'  
'Yes, sir. I came to see your son, John-'  
'I know' his voice was quiet, Henry himself was extremely calm. This has put even greater fear in Alex's heart. Was John that bad?  
'How- how is he?' he tried to keep his voice strong, so Henry wouldn't know how scared he was.  
Man clenched his teeth, being silent for a while.  
'We don't know if he can be cured' this finally came out of his mouth. Alexander’s face paled. 'The doctor pulled out the bullet and dressed the wound, but Jack lost a lot of blood and the bullet may had grassed one of his organs... and he's still unconscious. The doctor said it's all up to him right now and we just have to wait.'  
Alex swallowed.  
'Can I see him?' he asked.  
'Yes, of course' Henry approached him and pointed at the broad stairs. 'This way, second room on the left.'  
Alexander nodded and climbed, jumping two stairs at once. He knocked delicately on the second door on the left and entered.  
It was warm in the room, the curtains were drawn, so everything was bereaved in half-light. Alexander saw his dear Laurens, laying in a bed under two blankets. He made his way towards the bed and sat by it. John's hair was scattered and jumbled on the pillow, his eyes closed. Alexander drew his hand and softly touched his cheek.  
'Oh, John-' he was unable to say anything else. He closed his eyes, as a few tears found their way down his face. The feeling of guilt fulfilled his heart. 'I'm so sorry. If I didn't tell you to go and fight, you wouldn't be laying here right now. Maybe I could have convinced you to invite Martha, you would be safe and-'  
He stopped, froze and opened his eyes, as he thought he felt a movement. But John's face was still, as it has been all the time.  
'John, if you can hear me, wake up.' He caught his hand and clasped it. 'I wonder if you could ever forgive me-'  
Now he could swear he saw John's lips moving slightly.  
'John?'  
'Alexander...' John's voice was hoarse and quiet, Alex was almost unable to hear it.  
'Oh my God, John?' Alex came closer, if that was even possible. Laurens opened his brown eyes slightly and looked at him.  
'Alexander' Hamilton felt as John tried to clasp his hands back, but he was too weak. This has put tears in his eyes again.  
'How are you feeling, my dear Laurens?' his voice was shaking. He was scared, so scared.  
'You can't tell me... you're putting the blame on yourself' John was talking with difficulty, but there was a vein of finality in his voice.  
'If I didn't tell you to write to general Greene that night, you wouldn't-' Alexander sounded pathetic.  
'No' John shook his head slightly. 'I can see it now, I... my actions were reckless. I shouldn't attack. It is on me... and on me only.'  
Alexander sighed, got up and drew back the curtains, letting a bit of afternoon sun into the room. He also opened a window. 'You need some fresh air and light, John, if you are to get better.'  
'Alexander' John looked up at him. Alex sat by his side again and touched his chin.  
'Yes?'  
'You have to consider.-' he started, but Alexander interrupted him.  
'Shhh... No. I don't want to.'  
'But you have to prepare yourself in case if I-'  
'No' he shook his head. 'I can't lose you, John. I couldn't live without you.'  
John smiled slightly.  
'But some of us are dying of the battle wounds. This is a honourable death.'  
'Not for you, John, you deserve better' his voice cracked. 'The war is already over. You will get better and you will enjoy the freedom of our people.'  
John shifted in bed and yawped.  
'Stay still' Alexander caressed his cheek. 'Do you want me to call a doctor or-?'  
'No, you don't have to.' John's eyes were sad, a bit like not entirely present.  
'How are you feeling?' Alex asked solicitously.  
'I-' he blinked slowly and continued 'Promise me something, Alexander.'  
'Anything, my Laurens.'  
'You won't do anything stupid when I'm gone' John looked him in the eye and saw the suffering.  
'John, you're not gonna-'  
'Alex' his voice was quietening. 'I can see it. The other side. I see- I see my mother. She's waiting for me.'  
'No, John, please' tears streaming down Alex's face as he clenched his friend's hand tighter. 'Stay with me, John, talk to me.'  
'I may not live to see our glory' he quoted a rhyme they made with Lafayette and Mulligan back during the war. But now it was only a weak whisper. John was looking into space, only half-present. Alexander shook his hand.  
'John, you can't die. I need you, John, you hear me? Stay with me.'  
John moved his gaze at him, as if he was back for a moment.  
'My dear Alexander' he whispered and stretched his arm to wiped away Alex's tears. 'I love you.'  
'I love you, too, John' Hamilton said, his voice shaking. 'So stay with me, you can fight this, John.'  
'I'll see you on the other side' Alexander almost didn't hear his last words. John clenched his hand slightly and stared at him. His eyes glittering, watery but lifeless. He came to the other side, straight to his mother's arms.  
'It's good to see you again, my son' she said, smiling. 'I'm proud of you.'  
The time was passing differently on the other side. Before he knew it, he met Philip, Alexander's son. He was surprised, but he took a good care of the boy until Alexander Hamilton finally came to the other side himself. John took his hand and smiled widely.  
'Alexander.' In this word he put his entire affection, happiness and longing. Alex smiled back.  
'My Laurens. It's so good to see you again.'  
'I told you, I'll see you on the other side.' John touched Alexander's hair softly.  
'I'm sorry, I couldn't keep your promise' Alexander's smile faded. 'I did some crap down there-'  
'I don't care' John whispered and came closer. 'I do care that we're together.'  
Alexander grinned and cuddled his friend.  
'It's good to have you back.'


End file.
